Fractured Tales: Story I
by Winter's Shadow
Summary: You get the summary from the title itself. read it and tell me if you guys think its funny. i was feeling a little hyper when i wrotw it. it's just plain silly.


**FRACTURED TALES: STORY I**

_Disclaimer: Characters are not mine basic plot is not mine. The fracturing and mutilation of the original storyline is entirely my work. The first in the many more mutilations of some of the various other poor storylines that happen to cross my path._

_A.N. I know I didn't give it to you to beta read Anu, but I'll send you the next chapte,call me at 8:00a.m if you don't have school tomorrow. She if you're reading this I'll mail you what you asked for on Monday, i.e., tomorrow. Thanx for all the reviews. All you guys who read this I would be grateful if you read and reviewed my other stories._

_(The Great Hall is filled with chairs that hold an audience and a makeshift stage has been erected.A girl dressed in a casual muggle jeans and shirt walks onto the stage. Her hair is tied back in a ponytail and she holds a bunch of papers in her hand.Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny look on from the sides) _

WW: Once upon a time, there was a faraway land ruled by a king …

Ron: _(Snorts) _Obviously a_ king _has to be the one ruling! You can't expect the peasants to do that can you?

Hermione: Hush! _(looks apologetic_) He really didn't want to be part of this.

WW: _(glares at Ron) _as I was saying… the king had a very beautiful wife who was…

Ron: can't we just skip these parts. It's all obvious! You can't expect any king to have an _old hag as a wife can you?_

Hermione: Really Ron! I'm trying to listen.

Ron: _(whines)_ Can't we just do our parts and get over with it?

WW: No, I want to do it properly, with all necessary and unnecessary introductions. That's how we do it in the Muggle world.

Harry: Now you know why these stories were used to put kids to sleep, don't you Ron?

Ron: Yeah, so plain dead borin––

WW: Ahem… the king and queen were childless for a long time and longed for a child. After many years they were finally blessed with the birth of a little girl…

Ron: BLESSED?! Yeah right! Do you have any idea what a pain Ginny is.

Ginny: Take that back you prat! _(hits him hard on the arm)_

Ron: OW!

WW: Thank you Ginny, I wanted to do that myself, now where was I ? oh yes. As a celebration of their daughter's birth, the king and queen invited all the nobles, commoners and fairies to a grand banquet. 

_(Enter Hogwarts students dressed in medival clothes. Dumbledore and Sinistra as the King and Queen and all the Weasley boys as the brothers)_

In the guests was the king of a nearby kingdom whose son was betrothed to the little princess…

_(Enter a sour looking Snape dragging an exicted looking Dennis Creevey by the collar)_

Ron: _(whispers to Harry)_I'll bet he was a tyrant.

Snape: Detention Weasley! Detention at my office as soon as this is over!

_(Ron visibly cringes and remains quiet)_

Dennis: Look Harry! Guess who's younger self I'm playing? YOURS! See I even have a fake scar! 

_( lifts his hair to show)_

Harry: _(groans_) Wolf did you have to do this to me?

Hermione_:(who was looking curiously at the Weasleys)_ Ummm… Wolf? Where do the brothers come from? I thought you said the King and Queen were childless?

WW: Really? _(flips back through the script_) Oh! Sorry, Hermione. I forgot to change that. You see I was planning on another fairytale earlier but I'll probably write that later the brothers aren't supposed to be there but too late now we'll squeeze them in.

Ron: HERMIONE! You dragged me into something that didn't even need me! I could have read my 'Quidditch through the Ages' once more and completed exactly 96 times!

WW: how many times do you want to read it?

Ron:_ (looks proud)_ 125times.

WW: _(shakes her head in wonder)_ Any way now let's see… _(flips foreward through the pages) The three good faries, Flora, Fauna and Merryweather, were also invited and as the banquet drew to a close they were called to bestow their gifts on the child._

_(Enter McGonagall, Trelawney and Sprout dressed in flowy robes and a pair of wings on their back and a crown of stars on their heads. Fred and George snicker but become quiet as McGonagall glares) _

Trelawney: _(catches sight of Harry who is trying to hide)_ My dear! The plants predict tragic moments that are close at –

WW: Shhh! Not now your supposed to act!

McGonagall: _(briskly marches to the cradle and points her wand)_ I bestow on you the gift of beauty._( turns and leaves)_

WW: _(sighs)_ Some just lack acting talent… alright… NEXT!

Sprout: _(Trying to make a better show)_ My dear child! On this happy day I would like to bestow on you the gift of song, that you may sing with the herbological systems that surrounds you.

Ron: _(mutters)_ Had to mention 'herbology'

Bill: Wolf, you owe me big time. I was quite a job trying to convince the goblins to act.

WW: Thanks Bill, Oh you're not really needed you all can go. Fleur's somewhere in the crowd, Bill, she signed up as an extra. TRELAWNY!

Trelawny: _(snaps to attention_) My dearest, sweetest, precious, beloved, child. On this day the planets have assembled to reveal to my talented inner eye –

_(Suddenly the door of the Great Hall is flung open and a bolt of lightenning hits the ground outside. Wind and a few dry leaves rush inside as a tall hooded figure slowly makes its way down the isle. On reaching the stage the hood is pushed down…)_


End file.
